It is hardly news that the Internet platforms, fosters and promotes toxic broken people with terrible ideas and abysmal behaviour. The raw meat movement is a daily shitshow where even the matinee performances are packing them in. People who believe that uncooked meat and no vegetables is the OPTIMAL diet for Homo sapiens live in an unforgiving ecosystem where human sewage rises to the top. As fast as a new turd rises to prominence, it sinks beneath the surface to be replaced by another – the shit cycle of life. Every so often though, an uber turd comes forth and leaves all others in his ploppy shadow. Latvian train wreck Gatis Lagzdins, a.k.a. Sv3rige, is one such King Plop and it is he whom we discuss today.
A bad-influencer with a YouTube channel clocking in at around 90K subscribers, Sv3rige has garnered attention from media outlets for his shock jock public stunts, controversial views and all-round douchebaggery. He presents himself as a straight-shooting freethinker delivering unpalatable truths to the docile masses but close scrutiny reveals him to be cucking on gas on a stove built to last, three-inch dingus at half-mast. He’s getting rawdogged thrice by his diet, lifestyle and single digit IQ. While his very existence is offensive be assured that he is taking himself out with his choices. Here, we explore why
NOTE: Sv3rige deletes posts and videos faster than a paedo with the vice squad on his doorstep with a warrant so the original source may no longer be easily found but rest assured he said what he said and did what he done did. The Savage archives.
1. Ate an uncooked pig’s head
Perhaps his most famous own goal came at the 2019 VegFest in Brighton when Sv3rige took his needy father figure seeking antics to a new low when he gnawed the flesh from the face of a pig’s severed head in an attempt to provoke the vogon massive. While undoubtedly getting him the notoriety he craved, it wound up being something of an own goal. One of the defining struggles of the vegan movement has been to remind meat-eaters that the food they eat has a face. In forcing horrified passing carnists to confront the truth of their diet he scored an impressive propaganda victory for vegans and animals everywhere. As VegFestUK manager Tim Barford explained, “What was interesting was that we had meat-eating members of the public saying that this revolting spectacle had encouraged them to give up eating meat – so it seems the anti-vegan protest actually encouraged people to go vegan.”
Incredible scenes. In addition to bolstering the movement he so despises, Sv3rige was opening himself up toparasites, E. coli, salmonella and listeria. It was a spectacular self-cuck but Gatis was just getting started..
Artistic representation of Sv3rige’s eggwank
2. Ate a two-year-old raw egg
The Savage has touched before on the carnivore’s creepy fixation on the apparently miraculous rejuvenating powers of eggs. Never though, did he think he would be dealing with the practice of eating eggs rawdog a full TWO YEARS after they were laid but that is exactly what Lagzdins served up on his channel. He reported “a good strong egg yolky cheesy sort of flavour” as the foul crime against nature was ingested, causing brain damage faster than a British nanny left alone with a Boston infant. His delight in playing dietary Russian roulette was shared by his suicide baiting commenters. “imagine the stench.. jesus christ. not just the egg itself, but he’s dropping it everywhere, and his breath after eating that.. his shits must clear out the apartment complex” said one observer.
A two-year-old egg causing brain damage faster than a British nanny left alone with a Boston infant.
3. Eats rotting meat
Yes, it’s early days but you can already spot a developing theme. It may be true that the fish rots from the head but that phrase will only get Sv3rige salivating like John Peel passing girls school netball practice. He just can’t get enough of decomposing corpses, notably here when he chows down on one-year-old high meat (so called because of the euphoric high its proponents say it gives, possibly the delirium from food poisoning who knows). Those of you who have ever smelt an animal’s body in an advanced state of decomposition will know that just getting in close proximity to the seething humming calamity requires a certain sturdiness of spirit. To actually bite, chew and swallow the stinky remains takes a truly exceptional individual.
4. Deadpilled on anti-nutrients
A persistent brain belch from the raw meat movement is the idea that vegetables are bad for you because they contain antinutrients. As with most bro science, it takes a poorly understood scientific fact, misinterprets it and ends up mangling the truth worse than a Ted Kennedy date who thought it would be “really fun” to go for a midnight joyride. Antinutrients such as glucosinolates and goitrogens are present in cruciferous vegetables such as cabbage, sprouts and broccoli which can prevent the absorption of iodine. Oxalates in leafy greens can do the same with calcium.
That sounds pretty bad, man. Is it finally ‘checkmate, vogons!’ like they’ve been telling us for years? If only there were an existing scientific consensus that the dangers of antinutrients have been massively exaggerated by cranks, that the benefits of consuming vegetables easily outweigh any downside and that antinutrients have anti-cholesterol, anti-oxidant and anti-carcinogenic effects. That would be a big relief. Turns Sv3rige’s position on antinutrients has the credibility of Todd Rundgren on The Fighter and the Kid discussing quantum entanglement with Brendan Schaub.
The truth ends up mangled worse than a Ted Kennedy date who thought it would be “really fun” to go for a midnight joyride.
5. Is a sun gazer
Remember when NASA brainwashed you into believing that staring into the sun was bad? Of course you don’t, that’s all part of the programming. Sv3rige though is wise to their tricks having received “information from the cosmos” as he explains in his Why Sungazing Is So Important video. The benefits of deep-frying your retinas include “our intelligence increases – that’s because of our sun-powered brain so to speak.”
The blond leading the blind
Naysayers point to the serious and permanent ocular trauma caused to Catholic pilgrims while staring at the sun for a miracle. Planted stories funded by Big Lamp seldom fool the enlightened, however.
6. Cool with incest
“If you switch off what you have learned for a second, you may come to the same conclusion”. If there is a better summation of Sv3rige’s philosophy I’ve yet to hear it. Switch off your learns, relax and float downstream. It comes from the man himself in his semenal seminal video “Is incest natural? Why do the royals practice it without consequences” where his main citations are from Game of Thrones. “The Targaryens married brother to sister for generations and Aerys the Mad King turned out all right – how bad can it be?” he ponders. And the birth defects? “There’s a lot of claims but NO PROOF”. Well, there you have it. Sv3rige gives the green light to as many bouts of guilt-free sibling shtupping as you can take.
7. Believes the Earth is flat
Like fish-fixated urine king Tim Shieff, Gatis has taken the redpill on the true Flat Earth. Bringing up such excellent points as the blood-drinking Illuminati did it, NASA employees guarding the end of the earth to stop people falling off and the Flat Earth proves intelligent design he has been a staunch ally of the dirt worshippers at the gates of sanity.
8. Thinks he can fight – can’t
Pretending that you know how to fight when you don’t know how to fight is exactly the kind of high-risk no-reward gambit we’ve come to expect from Sv3rige. In a bizarre instructional video How to FIGHT NATURALLY – Follow Your Instinct, Not Man-Made Rules, a clip reminiscent of the many fake martial artists venerated on YouTube for the lulz, Sv3rige instructs his viewers on how REAL fighting in nature works and how fighters with their man-made “rules” would swiftly suffer a terrible pounding at the hands of a primal beast like Sv3rige.
Enter former doorman, martial artist and vegan nutritionist Hench Herbivore who slices up Sv3rige’s comically bad fighting philosophy and serves it up julienne style with some nuts and rice. HH helpfully shows Gatis the whiplike action that transfers energy from your feet to your fist necessary for effective striking, the need for retreating at angles while under attack and a little bit of grappling 101. He may have saved his life so, um, thanks for that.
9. Anti-evolution
“I don’t believe in evolution – it’s a lie. You’ve literally got to be retarded to believe in evolution.” Yes, that’s our boy again speaking on his YouTube channel. It’s unclear how he accounts for the complexity and biodiversity of species though I suspect he’s in the Intelligent Design camp. And you know the campsite rule: leave the place in a better state than you found it. Sorry, I don’t know where we’re going with this one. Let’s move on.
10. Believes water dehydrates you
In the every-cop-is-a-criminal, all-the-sinners-saints and heads-is-tails Sv3rige World you will frequently find yourself bumping up against counterintuitive wisdom. Perhaps the most startling is his assertion that he won’t drink water because it dehydrates you. In case you think I am misrepresenting his position, here he is saying “water dehydrates you”. Animal blood, milk and egg yolks are all we need for hydration, Sv3rige contends rendering the Roman aqueduct project a big old waste of everyone’s time.
11. Admits sexually assault
Specifically sexually assaulting a sleeping girl when he was 16. He really does. I quote verbatim from his currently still undeleted ‘Rape- Pornography –Pedophilia’ video.
“I remember when I was 16 I tried to touch a girl’s genitals, her breasts, her face and whole-body when she was asleep – she was drunk, I was drunk”.
“When I went after my… these physical ideas – and of course she felt horrible, the next morning she found out because somebody told her about it.”
Given that he tells us this freely in a video that has been up for seven years you can only imagine what crimes he may have committed that he’s not telling us about given that he has the same arm’s-length relationship with consent he has with nutrition.
12. Pro-serial killing
In the ambiguously titled Serial Killers Are the Real Heroes video Sv3rige patiently explains how “The words serial killer are synonymous with psychopath these days…. In nature, you’re a hero. Being antisocial is a guarantee that you’re sane. If you agree with society which is a man-made anti-nature construct then you are insane.”
It all makes you think of a 13-year-old future school shooter who has just started painting his nails black, reading Camus and declaring himself an existentialist nihilist. We will return to this theme anon.
It all makes you think of a 13-year-old future school shooter who has just started painting his nails black, reading Camus and declaring himself an existentialist nihilist.
In nature potatoes cannibalise each other: CONFIRMED
13. Pro-cannibalism
In the same video, he continues “we call (serial killers) cannibals and monsters but nothing that they do is in any way wrong”. Gotta say, it’s, of something of a relief. Fire up the hibachi and stick that long pig on the spit!
14. 9/11 truther
Given everything we know about him so far, that Gatis is a 9/11 dingbat is the least surprising news since Boy George declared he wasn’t really into girls in that way. He is however one of a rare strain of conspiritards who believe that no planes were used in the fake flag simulation on the so-called “attacks” on the alleged “11 September 2001” making him once again a special amongst specials.
15. Loves Forrest Gump
“Um, and? Given everything we already know about him why would you even mention something this trivial? And Forrest Gump is an awesome movie. Yeah, sure it’s hokey to all you media types in your elite Hampstead penthouses but it speaks to a universal truth about overcoming your struggles and staying true to yourself. Six Academy Awards say you’ve got this one wrong.”
First off, if you ever contradict The Savage again he will mercilessly track you down and beat you like Joss Whedon beats his johnson every time a vulnerable actress shows up at casting. Secondly, that filthy reactionary jizz fest is a three-flush turd and anyone who has it in their top anything can be safely written off as a human being.
16. Carved up classmates
Ah, what a Sliding Doors moment this was. Had Gatis fulfilled his ambition and emulated his heroes of the Columbine massacre we would likely never have heard of him and would have cruelly missed out on his wisdom. Aged 16, around the same time he sexually assaulted a sleeping girl, took two knives to school and began slashing his schoolmates. Four were injured, none seriously and Ieva Reksna – head of the state police’s press and public relations department said: “he also planned to commit suicide but he backed out.”
I’m terribly confused. Is that what they do “in nature”?
17. Baldcel in denial
Nobody loves a baldcel and it’s not hard to see why. They are a crime against nature, a grotesque parody of masculinity, a sick joke on aesthetics. Yet it is possible for these freaks to live a more or less harmless life. Loveless and insipid certainly but some baldies embrace their cue ball heads and woolly hats, even gaining positions of influence rather like eunuchs as civil servants in Ancient China.
But not Gatis, oh no. The Norwood Reaper has been visiting Sv3rige nightly, having him since he was 12 Laura Palmer style, his hairline disappearing faster than Dwight Yorke’s CV off the desk of a competent football executive going through the process of recruiting a manager. Yet despite this, he remains in solid denial of his decrepit appearance. Never mind that his scalp is taking the kind of ravaging the Romans put on Carthage, he continues with that foul three-strand ponytail mocking God and the laws of nature every video he uploads. Jesus Christ.
Sv3rige’s hairline is disappearing faster than Dwight Yorke’s CV off the desk of a competent football executive going through the process of recruiting a new manager.
It’s okay not to be okay
18. Posts “waah” videos after dumpings
We’ve already seen how Sv3rige has a bit of a ‘way’ with the ladies, in the way that Ted Bundy had a bit of way with hitchhikers. Despite his shit brain, malfunctioning teeth and tiny child body Sv3rige has managed to attract a string of mentally ill women fascinated by his carefully cultivated bad boy of carnism persona. Even lunacy has its limits however and after a certain amount of time with the malnourished goon, the chicks inevitably GTFO heading off into the sunset like Road Runner on a particularly pressing schedule.
How does this force of nature iron man, scourge of vegan pussies, primal cannibal respond to such rejection? By going out and fucking 10 other broads just like her? By mastering some kind of masculine art like woodcarving, wild boar hunting or Brazilian jujitsu? You might reasonably infer this but the sad truth is he cries about it like a bairn – publicly and loudly. Edifying? Not even a little bit.
19. Believes veganism is a NWO conspiracy
With the well-established baleful influence of Big Meat, Big Dairy and Big Fish upon governments worldwide you might have thought it was a bridge too far to claim that the kale lobby was the real power behind the throne but that’s exactly what Sv3rige does in his “The NWO DIEt – the first ever anti-vegan documentary (2017)” video. A rambling 99-minute copy and paste dirge that would test the patience of Job on a particularly challenging day, Sv3rige’s magnum opus is a Loose Change for NWO nuts. Loose Bowels, if you will.
20. Believes The Illuminati rape & eat babies
In his The Illuminati Rape & Eat Babies video about the Illuminati raping and eating babies, Sv3rige states that he believes the Illuminati rapes and eats babies. So far so Sv3rige but in his July 31st 2018 live stream at 1.04 he tells his audience
“I’m not afraid of the Illuminati; I want to join them.”
Er, OK bro. He continues. “I would do anything to join them. You do not even want to know what I would do to join them,”
That’s true but I think I could hazard a guess.
In his ‘The Illuminati Rape & Eat Babies’ video about the Illuminati raping and eating babies, Sv3rige states that he believes the Illuminati rapes and eats babies.
Don’t you remember you told me you loved me baby?
21. Got ran out of Romania by the Feds
Having corralled a handful of fellow rawtards into his laughable of offgrid project in the beautiful country of Romania, Gatis, by his own admission, was accused by his landlady of damaging her property, had the police called on him and had to skip the country, crossing over to Bulgaria in an Uber. Leaving aside that renting a property doesn’t sound very offgrid, a story circulated later that Sv3rige was behaving erratically, kicking his buddies out of the house (along with his girlfriend and child) and began threatening people with knives. Thank God he has no previous with knife crime or that could have got worrying.
22. Drinks baby momma’s breastmilk
OK, it’s not raping and eating babies but if you are a regular on his live streams you may have been fortunate enough to have witnessed Sv3rige guzzling down now ex-girlfriend Luna’s expressed pillow juice as if it were the elixir of life itself. This vicious theft of his child’s milk once again reveals the cold flint heart of a psychopath.
23. Accused baby momma of sexual abuse
The relationship between Gatis and Luna was clearly a tempestuous one. Neutrals cheered when she made a rare good decision and GTFO out of there with their son. Payback was swift however in a live stream shortly after their split when Gatis announced that he had reported Luna to child protective services for sexual abuse of their child which had been going on “since birth”. He hadn’t mentioned this before or done anything about it because “there was no reason for me to stop it.” Fair enough. I’m just glad he hasn’t eaten him yet.
Incredibly, child protective services did not do anything about this completely credible account so Sv3rige encouraged his followers to email them and report Luna based on his own testimony. He proceeds to give her real name and location to his wackadoodles redpill misogynist followers, the very first people you contact when your primary concern is the welfare of your infant son. He is currently more ‘I see yer da’s taking the divorce well’ than Laurence Fox.
24. Married fan girl weeks after meeting
OK, so the Luna situation ended in tears, recrimination and unsubstantiated allegations of child sexual abuse. It happens. Only a fool though would judge a man’s relations with women based on one admittedly lengthy encounter. This year Sv3rige found love again with Catherine, a follower who flew all the way from Canada to be with him, dropping out of university to snare the Sigma Male stud of her dreams. Marriage came just weeks later. It was a beautiful miracle. Naturally, they broke up and a psychotic smear campaign followed but the key takeaway is: keep believing in love, guys.
25. Has radioactive Airbnb rating
A quick look at reviews left for Gatis as an Airbnb guest confirms his presence in your home about as welcome as Susan Atkins, Tex Watson, and Patricia Krenwinkel showing up and saying “hey, sorry to crash the party guys but we’ve got a race war to be starting.” Here’s the harrowing testimony from one unfortunate host.
“Gatis and his group had to arrive at 20 in a house of 14 people and they arrived with 25/30 people he was not honest. Knowing that the regulation it was well specified that they had to pay a supplement beyond 14 people they refused to pay later. They organized a meeting at our place. We found maggots in the garbage cans. A horror. In spite of the antecedents I trusted Gatis and I regret. The house was left in a lame state 10 hours of cleaning. I really do not recommend.”
Other accounts corroborate that Sv3rige showing up on your doorstep is a cast-iron guarantee of bad times, busted doorknobs and broken dreams.
Acknowledgements
Thank you to the psychopaths at Kiwi Farms for their vital research and Hench Herbivore for the fighting video.
The way of The Savage is to live an emphatic unapologetic ethical existence that respects life and murders anyone who disagrees.
There will be no compromise. This is not a time for children, it is a time for grown men and women to rise up and beat some peace into the heathens who despoil the earth. By the old gods and the new we shall take back the planet. Let it be known.
25 reasons why anti-vegan simp Sv3rige is the biggest cuck in carnism
Table of Contents
Introduction
It is hardly news that the Internet platforms, fosters and promotes toxic broken people with terrible ideas and abysmal behaviour. The raw meat movement is a daily shitshow where even the matinee performances are packing them in. People who believe that uncooked meat and no vegetables is the OPTIMAL diet for Homo sapiens live in an unforgiving ecosystem where human sewage rises to the top. As fast as a new turd rises to prominence, it sinks beneath the surface to be replaced by another – the shit cycle of life. Every so often though, an uber turd comes forth and leaves all others in his ploppy shadow. Latvian train wreck Gatis Lagzdins, a.k.a. Sv3rige, is one such King Plop and it is he whom we discuss today.
A bad-influencer with a YouTube channel clocking in at around 90K subscribers, Sv3rige has garnered attention from media outlets for his shock jock public stunts, controversial views and all-round douchebaggery. He presents himself as a straight-shooting freethinker delivering unpalatable truths to the docile masses but close scrutiny reveals him to be cucking on gas on a stove built to last, three-inch dingus at half-mast. He’s getting rawdogged thrice by his diet, lifestyle and single digit IQ. While his very existence is offensive be assured that he is taking himself out with his choices. Here, we explore why
NOTE: Sv3rige deletes posts and videos faster than a paedo with the vice squad on his doorstep with a warrant so the original source may no longer be easily found but rest assured he said what he said and did what he done did. The Savage archives.
1. Ate an uncooked pig’s head
Perhaps his most famous own goal came at the 2019 VegFest in Brighton when Sv3rige took his needy father figure seeking antics to a new low when he gnawed the flesh from the face of a pig’s severed head in an attempt to provoke the vogon massive. While undoubtedly getting him the notoriety he craved, it wound up being something of an own goal. One of the defining struggles of the vegan movement has been to remind meat-eaters that the food they eat has a face. In forcing horrified passing carnists to confront the truth of their diet he scored an impressive propaganda victory for vegans and animals everywhere. As VegFestUK manager Tim Barford explained, “What was interesting was that we had meat-eating members of the public saying that this revolting spectacle had encouraged them to give up eating meat – so it seems the anti-vegan protest actually encouraged people to go vegan.”
Incredible scenes. In addition to bolstering the movement he so despises, Sv3rige was opening himself up to parasites, E. coli, salmonella and listeria. It was a spectacular self-cuck but Gatis was just getting started..
2. Ate a two-year-old raw egg
The Savage has touched before on the carnivore’s creepy fixation on the apparently miraculous rejuvenating powers of eggs. Never though, did he think he would be dealing with the practice of eating eggs rawdog a full TWO YEARS after they were laid but that is exactly what Lagzdins served up on his channel. He reported “a good strong egg yolky cheesy sort of flavour” as the foul crime against nature was ingested, causing brain damage faster than a British nanny left alone with a Boston infant. His delight in playing dietary Russian roulette was shared by his suicide baiting commenters. “imagine the stench.. jesus christ. not just the egg itself, but he’s dropping it everywhere, and his breath after eating that.. his shits must clear out the apartment complex” said one observer.
3. Eats rotting meat
Yes, it’s early days but you can already spot a developing theme. It may be true that the fish rots from the head but that phrase will only get Sv3rige salivating like John Peel passing girls school netball practice. He just can’t get enough of decomposing corpses, notably here when he chows down on one-year-old high meat (so called because of the euphoric high its proponents say it gives, possibly the delirium from food poisoning who knows). Those of you who have ever smelt an animal’s body in an advanced state of decomposition will know that just getting in close proximity to the seething humming calamity requires a certain sturdiness of spirit. To actually bite, chew and swallow the stinky remains takes a truly exceptional individual.
4. Deadpilled on anti-nutrients
A persistent brain belch from the raw meat movement is the idea that vegetables are bad for you because they contain antinutrients. As with most bro science, it takes a poorly understood scientific fact, misinterprets it and ends up mangling the truth worse than a Ted Kennedy date who thought it would be “really fun” to go for a midnight joyride. Antinutrients such as glucosinolates and goitrogens are present in cruciferous vegetables such as cabbage, sprouts and broccoli which can prevent the absorption of iodine. Oxalates in leafy greens can do the same with calcium.
That sounds pretty bad, man. Is it finally ‘checkmate, vogons!’ like they’ve been telling us for years? If only there were an existing scientific consensus that the dangers of antinutrients have been massively exaggerated by cranks, that the benefits of consuming vegetables easily outweigh any downside and that antinutrients have anti-cholesterol, anti-oxidant and anti-carcinogenic effects. That would be a big relief. Turns Sv3rige’s position on antinutrients has the credibility of Todd Rundgren on The Fighter and the Kid discussing quantum entanglement with Brendan Schaub.
5. Is a sun gazer
Remember when NASA brainwashed you into believing that staring into the sun was bad? Of course you don’t, that’s all part of the programming. Sv3rige though is wise to their tricks having received “information from the cosmos” as he explains in his Why Sungazing Is So Important video. The benefits of deep-frying your retinas include “our intelligence increases – that’s because of our sun-powered brain so to speak.”
Naysayers point to the serious and permanent ocular trauma caused to Catholic pilgrims while staring at the sun for a miracle. Planted stories funded by Big Lamp seldom fool the enlightened, however.
6. Cool with incest
“If you switch off what you have learned for a second, you may come to the same conclusion”. If there is a better summation of Sv3rige’s philosophy I’ve yet to hear it. Switch off your learns, relax and float downstream. It comes from the man himself in his
semenalseminal video “Is incest natural? Why do the royals practice it without consequences” where his main citations are from Game of Thrones. “The Targaryens married brother to sister for generations and Aerys the Mad King turned out all right – how bad can it be?” he ponders. And the birth defects? “There’s a lot of claims but NO PROOF”. Well, there you have it. Sv3rige gives the green light to as many bouts of guilt-free sibling shtupping as you can take.7. Believes the Earth is flat
Like fish-fixated urine king Tim Shieff, Gatis has taken the redpill on the true Flat Earth. Bringing up such excellent points as the blood-drinking Illuminati did it, NASA employees guarding the end of the earth to stop people falling off and the Flat Earth proves intelligent design he has been a staunch ally of the dirt worshippers at the gates of sanity.
8. Thinks he can fight – can’t
Pretending that you know how to fight when you don’t know how to fight is exactly the kind of high-risk no-reward gambit we’ve come to expect from Sv3rige. In a bizarre instructional video How to FIGHT NATURALLY – Follow Your Instinct, Not Man-Made Rules, a clip reminiscent of the many fake martial artists venerated on YouTube for the lulz, Sv3rige instructs his viewers on how REAL fighting in nature works and how fighters with their man-made “rules” would swiftly suffer a terrible pounding at the hands of a primal beast like Sv3rige.
Enter former doorman, martial artist and vegan nutritionist Hench Herbivore who slices up Sv3rige’s comically bad fighting philosophy and serves it up julienne style with some nuts and rice. HH helpfully shows Gatis the whiplike action that transfers energy from your feet to your fist necessary for effective striking, the need for retreating at angles while under attack and a little bit of grappling 101. He may have saved his life so, um, thanks for that.
9. Anti-evolution
“I don’t believe in evolution – it’s a lie. You’ve literally got to be retarded to believe in evolution.” Yes, that’s our boy again speaking on his YouTube channel. It’s unclear how he accounts for the complexity and biodiversity of species though I suspect he’s in the Intelligent Design camp. And you know the campsite rule: leave the place in a better state than you found it. Sorry, I don’t know where we’re going with this one. Let’s move on.
10. Believes water dehydrates you
In the every-cop-is-a-criminal, all-the-sinners-saints and heads-is-tails Sv3rige World you will frequently find yourself bumping up against counterintuitive wisdom. Perhaps the most startling is his assertion that he won’t drink water because it dehydrates you. In case you think I am misrepresenting his position, here he is saying “water dehydrates you”. Animal blood, milk and egg yolks are all we need for hydration, Sv3rige contends rendering the Roman aqueduct project a big old waste of everyone’s time.
11. Admits sexually assault
Specifically sexually assaulting a sleeping girl when he was 16. He really does. I quote verbatim from his currently still undeleted ‘Rape- Pornography – Pedophilia’ video.
“I remember when I was 16 I tried to touch a girl’s genitals, her breasts, her face and whole-body when she was asleep – she was drunk, I was drunk”.
“When I went after my… these physical ideas – and of course she felt horrible, the next morning she found out because somebody told her about it.”
Given that he tells us this freely in a video that has been up for seven years you can only imagine what crimes he may have committed that he’s not telling us about given that he has the same arm’s-length relationship with consent he has with nutrition.
12. Pro-serial killing
In the ambiguously titled Serial Killers Are the Real Heroes video Sv3rige patiently explains how “The words serial killer are synonymous with psychopath these days…. In nature, you’re a hero. Being antisocial is a guarantee that you’re sane. If you agree with society which is a man-made anti-nature construct then you are insane.”
It all makes you think of a 13-year-old future school shooter who has just started painting his nails black, reading Camus and declaring himself an existentialist nihilist. We will return to this theme anon.
13. Pro-cannibalism
In the same video, he continues “we call (serial killers) cannibals and monsters but nothing that they do is in any way wrong”. Gotta say, it’s, of something of a relief. Fire up the hibachi and stick that long pig on the spit!
14. 9/11 truther
Given everything we know about him so far, that Gatis is a 9/11 dingbat is the least surprising news since Boy George declared he wasn’t really into girls in that way. He is however one of a rare strain of conspiritards who believe that no planes were used in the fake flag simulation on the so-called “attacks” on the alleged “11 September 2001” making him once again a special amongst specials.
15. Loves Forrest Gump
“Um, and? Given everything we already know about him why would you even mention something this trivial? And Forrest Gump is an awesome movie. Yeah, sure it’s hokey to all you media types in your elite Hampstead penthouses but it speaks to a universal truth about overcoming your struggles and staying true to yourself. Six Academy Awards say you’ve got this one wrong.”
First off, if you ever contradict The Savage again he will mercilessly track you down and beat you like Joss Whedon beats his johnson every time a vulnerable actress shows up at casting. Secondly, that filthy reactionary jizz fest is a three-flush turd and anyone who has it in their top anything can be safely written off as a human being.
16. Carved up classmates
Ah, what a Sliding Doors moment this was. Had Gatis fulfilled his ambition and emulated his heroes of the Columbine massacre we would likely never have heard of him and would have cruelly missed out on his wisdom. Aged 16, around the same time he sexually assaulted a sleeping girl, took two knives to school and began slashing his schoolmates. Four were injured, none seriously and Ieva Reksna – head of the state police’s press and public relations department said: “he also planned to commit suicide but he backed out.”
I’m terribly confused. Is that what they do “in nature”?
17. Baldcel in denial
Nobody loves a baldcel and it’s not hard to see why. They are a crime against nature, a grotesque parody of masculinity, a sick joke on aesthetics. Yet it is possible for these freaks to live a more or less harmless life. Loveless and insipid certainly but some baldies embrace their cue ball heads and woolly hats, even gaining positions of influence rather like eunuchs as civil servants in Ancient China.
But not Gatis, oh no. The Norwood Reaper has been visiting Sv3rige nightly, having him since he was 12 Laura Palmer style, his hairline disappearing faster than Dwight Yorke’s CV off the desk of a competent football executive going through the process of recruiting a manager. Yet despite this, he remains in solid denial of his decrepit appearance. Never mind that his scalp is taking the kind of ravaging the Romans put on Carthage, he continues with that foul three-strand ponytail mocking God and the laws of nature every video he uploads. Jesus Christ.
18. Posts “waah” videos after dumpings
We’ve already seen how Sv3rige has a bit of a ‘way’ with the ladies, in the way that Ted Bundy had a bit of way with hitchhikers. Despite his shit brain, malfunctioning teeth and tiny child body Sv3rige has managed to attract a string of mentally ill women fascinated by his carefully cultivated bad boy of carnism persona. Even lunacy has its limits however and after a certain amount of time with the malnourished goon, the chicks inevitably GTFO heading off into the sunset like Road Runner on a particularly pressing schedule.
How does this force of nature iron man, scourge of vegan pussies, primal cannibal respond to such rejection? By going out and fucking 10 other broads just like her? By mastering some kind of masculine art like woodcarving, wild boar hunting or Brazilian jujitsu? You might reasonably infer this but the sad truth is he cries about it like a bairn – publicly and loudly. Edifying? Not even a little bit.
19. Believes veganism is a NWO conspiracy
With the well-established baleful influence of Big Meat, Big Dairy and Big Fish upon governments worldwide you might have thought it was a bridge too far to claim that the kale lobby was the real power behind the throne but that’s exactly what Sv3rige does in his “The NWO DIEt – the first ever anti-vegan documentary (2017)” video. A rambling 99-minute copy and paste dirge that would test the patience of Job on a particularly challenging day, Sv3rige’s magnum opus is a Loose Change for NWO nuts. Loose Bowels, if you will.
20. Believes The Illuminati rape & eat babies
In his The Illuminati Rape & Eat Babies video about the Illuminati raping and eating babies, Sv3rige states that he believes the Illuminati rapes and eats babies. So far so Sv3rige but in his July 31st 2018 live stream at 1.04 he tells his audience
“I’m not afraid of the Illuminati; I want to join them.”
Er, OK bro. He continues. “I would do anything to join them. You do not even want to know what I would do to join them,”
That’s true but I think I could hazard a guess.
21. Got ran out of Romania by the Feds
Having corralled a handful of fellow rawtards into his laughable of offgrid project in the beautiful country of Romania, Gatis, by his own admission, was accused by his landlady of damaging her property, had the police called on him and had to skip the country, crossing over to Bulgaria in an Uber. Leaving aside that renting a property doesn’t sound very offgrid, a story circulated later that Sv3rige was behaving erratically, kicking his buddies out of the house (along with his girlfriend and child) and began threatening people with knives. Thank God he has no previous with knife crime or that could have got worrying.
22. Drinks baby momma’s breastmilk
OK, it’s not raping and eating babies but if you are a regular on his live streams you may have been fortunate enough to have witnessed Sv3rige guzzling down now ex-girlfriend Luna’s expressed pillow juice as if it were the elixir of life itself. This vicious theft of his child’s milk once again reveals the cold flint heart of a psychopath.
23. Accused baby momma of sexual abuse
The relationship between Gatis and Luna was clearly a tempestuous one. Neutrals cheered when she made a rare good decision and GTFO out of there with their son. Payback was swift however in a live stream shortly after their split when Gatis announced that he had reported Luna to child protective services for sexual abuse of their child which had been going on “since birth”. He hadn’t mentioned this before or done anything about it because “there was no reason for me to stop it.” Fair enough. I’m just glad he hasn’t eaten him yet.
Incredibly, child protective services did not do anything about this completely credible account so Sv3rige encouraged his followers to email them and report Luna based on his own testimony. He proceeds to give her real name and location to his wackadoodles redpill misogynist followers, the very first people you contact when your primary concern is the welfare of your infant son. He is currently more ‘I see yer da’s taking the divorce well’ than Laurence Fox.
24. Married fan girl weeks after meeting
OK, so the Luna situation ended in tears, recrimination and unsubstantiated allegations of child sexual abuse. It happens. Only a fool though would judge a man’s relations with women based on one admittedly lengthy encounter. This year Sv3rige found love again with Catherine, a follower who flew all the way from Canada to be with him, dropping out of university to snare the Sigma Male stud of her dreams. Marriage came just weeks later. It was a beautiful miracle. Naturally, they broke up and a psychotic smear campaign followed but the key takeaway is: keep believing in love, guys.
25. Has radioactive Airbnb rating
A quick look at reviews left for Gatis as an Airbnb guest confirms his presence in your home about as welcome as Susan Atkins, Tex Watson, and Patricia Krenwinkel showing up and saying “hey, sorry to crash the party guys but we’ve got a race war to be starting.” Here’s the harrowing testimony from one unfortunate host.
“Gatis and his group had to arrive at 20 in a house of 14 people and they arrived with 25/30 people he was not honest. Knowing that the regulation it was well specified that they had to pay a supplement beyond 14 people they refused to pay later. They organized a meeting at our place. We found maggots in the garbage cans. A horror. In spite of the antecedents I trusted Gatis and I regret. The house was left in a lame state 10 hours of cleaning. I really do not recommend.”
Other accounts corroborate that Sv3rige showing up on your doorstep is a cast-iron guarantee of bad times, busted doorknobs and broken dreams.
Acknowledgements
Thank you to the psychopaths at Kiwi Farms for their vital research and Hench Herbivore for the fighting video.